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Bog Standard

Toilet humor has long been the comfort zone in everyday journalism, and we are always mindful to significant toilet tales and key events, particularly within football. Readers were entertained to discover that Big Website columnist a well-known presenter has a West Brom-themed urinal at his home. Spare a thought regarding the Barnsley supporter who interpreted the restroom somewhat too seriously, and was rescued from a deserted Oakwell post-napping in the lavatory midway through a 2015 losing match by Fleetwood. “He was barefoot and couldn't find his phone and his headwear,” explained a Barnsley fire station spokesperson. And everyone remembers during his peak popularity at Manchester City, Mario Balotelli popped into a local college to use the facilities in 2012. “His luxury car was stationed outside, before entering and requesting directions to the restrooms, afterward he visited the teachers' lounge,” a student told a Manchester newspaper. “Subsequently he wandered through the school like he owned the place.”

The Lavatory Departure

Tuesday marks 25 years since Kevin Keegan stepped down as the England coach post a quick discussion within a restroom stall with FA director David Davies in the bowels of Wembley, subsequent to the memorable 1-0 setback against Germany in 2000 – the national team's concluding fixture at the legendary venue. As Davies remembers in his diary, FA Confidential, he had entered the sodden struggling national team changing area immediately after the match, seeing David Beckham weeping and Tony Adams motivated, both of them pleading for the suit to bring Keegan to his senses. Subsequent to Hamann's direct free-kick, Keegan had trudged down the tunnel with a blank expression, and Davies discovered him collapsed – similar to his Anfield posture in 1996 – in the corner of the dressing room, muttering: “I’m off. I’m not for this.” Collaring Keegan, Davies attempted urgently to save the circumstance.

“Where could we possibly locate for a private conversation?” remembered Davies. “The tunnel? Full of TV journalists. The changing area? Crowded with emotional footballers. The shower area? I was unable to have a crucial talk with the team manager as squad members entered the baths. Only one option presented itself. The lavatory booths. A crucial incident in the Three Lions' storied past occurred in the ancient loos of an arena marked for removal. The coming demolition was almost tangible. Pulling Kevin into a stall, I secured the door behind us. We remained standing, looking at each other. ‘My decision is final,’ Kevin declared. ‘I’m out of here. I’m not up to it. I'll announce to journalists that I'm not competent. I'm unable to energize the team. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Consequences

Consequently, Keegan quit, subsequently confessing he considered his period as Three Lions boss “soulless”. The double Ballon d'Or recipient continued: “I found it hard to fill in the time. I found myself going and training the blind team, the hearing-impaired team, supporting the female team. It's a tremendously tough role.” Football in England has advanced considerably during the last 25 years. Whether for good or bad, those Wembley toilets and those two towers are long gone, although a German now works in the coaching zone Keegan formerly inhabited. The German's squad is viewed as one of the contenders for next year's international tournament: Three Lions supporters, appreciate this period. This exact remembrance from a low point in English football serves as a recall that situations weren't always this good.

Current Reports

Tune in with Luke McLaughlin at 8pm British Summer Time for Women's major tournament coverage concerning Arsenal's match against Lyon.

Today's Statement

“We remained in an extended queue, wearing only our undergarments. We were Europe’s best referees, elite athletes, role models, adults, parents, strong personalities with great integrity … but no one said anything. We scarcely made eye contact, our looks wavered slightly nervously when we were requested to advance in couples. There Collina examined us thoroughly with a chilly look. Mute and attentive” – previous global referee Jonas Eriksson reveals the humiliating procedures match officials were formerly exposed to by previous European football refereeing head Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“What does a name matter? There exists a Dr Seuss poem named ‘Too Many Daves’. Have Blackpool suffered from Too Many Steves? Steve Bruce, along with aides Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been dismissed through the exit. Does this conclude the club's Steve fixation? Not exactly! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie stay to take care of the first team. Total Steve progression!” – John Myles

“Now that you've relaxed spending restrictions and distributed some merchandise, I've chosen to type and offer a concise remark. Ange Postecoglou states that he picked fights in the school playground with kids he anticipated would defeat him. This masochistic tendency must account for his choice to sign with Nottingham Forest. As an enduring Tottenham follower I'll continue appreciating the subsequent season award but the only second-season trophy I can see him winning along the Trent, should he survive that period, is the second division and that would be quite a challenge {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|